Sisterhood of the traveling Fro's

World,

Long time no conversing. Since my last entry I graduated college, acquired a new path to my professional career, and I will soon boast a new address. In short, life is good, and as I am transitioning to the future my hair is along for the ride. As of lately, the journey has been less turbulent and almost enjoyable.
My appreciation for my hair evolution is inspired by the unsolicited
positive responses garnered from my fellow Black women. Perhaps I am extremely
grateful for the random commendations as of recently, because in the past, I felt
that Black women were among my harshest critics. These days, it seems that the occasional passer
will offer a word of encouragement or compliment to reinforce my mother's sentiments that I should walk tall,
even at four feet and eleven inches.

Natural hair or not, there is power behind affirmations, even if conveyed to a stranger.
So to the random sistas that have given me reason to smile, thank you. I will make it a priority to pay it forward.


Girl power,
First lady

WALE + Natural Women = All Love!

For all of you have never heard Wale's Attention Deficit, I hope this video serves as inspiration to check it out. In arguably the album's best track "Diary" Wale explores the complicated issue of Black women's pain, through the eyes of a beautiful natural young lady. Peep the video and comment!!



Good Lookin Sharpe Bartoo!

- First Lady

Is How They See Me? The Confirmation of Natural Hair Insecurities

After meeting up with some friends in Chicago, we decided to visit “Dick’s Last Resort”, a Bar and Grill whose theme encourages rudeness to patrons. Knowledgeable of this, we decided to play along with the theme. We were pelted with balls of napkins prior to being seated, the waiter yelled at us, rushed us while taking orders, but it was all laughable.
Unfortunately, the evening took a nose-dive after the waiter elected to create the first hat for the only woman with visibly coarse hair at the table, myself. I guess its appropriate to now mention that we were a party of six young Black people, the only African Americans in the entire establishment at the time. He placed the hat on my head, and I amusingly allowed it to stay, until I felt an uncomfortable glare from the rest of my tablemates. I then decided to take it off and read its contents. The hat said, “STOP CALLING ME BUCKWHEAT DAMMIT !!”. I then transformed from amused, to embarrassed, to finally angered.
Sensing my hostility, our party decided to leave, but not without speaking with the manager. The manager was outraged on our behalf, and pleaded for us to remain, however were unconvinced. He offered us free dessert and a different waiter, yet we still refused to stay. His final compromise consisted of our entire meal being packed into take out boxes and completely on the house. We conceded, after acknowledging that this incident was bigger than meal, hoping he’d understand that free food were the least of our concerns. Nonetheless, I just don’t think the Manager, nor the waiter understood.
Nevermind the historical significance of Buckwheat, a known “Picaninny” character which symbolized the degradation of African Americans. I fail to understand why there is such a complete obliviousness to the fine line that is crossed as it relates to comedy, and complete distaste. The worse part is when others attempt to dismiss your discomfort, as mere sensitivity.
Most of us can attest to how difficult it is to transition from relaxed to Natural hair can be an extremely difficult one. Not simply because you are unaware of what to do to your hair, but also because people tend to consistently, even if unconsciously remind you that your hair in its original state, is undesirable. Although this was an affirms a bigger of racial insensitivity, I had to share this because it evoked every emotional insecurity I have encountered throughout this process, but I never imagined it would be evoked by a business establishment. I'm not broken, but it the incident did crack my surface ... guess it goes to show I am not as invincible as I thought I was.

FYI: I have contacted the corporate office and I am currently I am awaiting their response.

Thanks for letting me vent.

First Lady.

Divine Intervention: My first Natural Hair Care Visit!!

Apparently my previous post made it appear that I was on uppers because everyone was interested in the outcome of my visit! So for your reading pleasures here you go!

I walked into my 1:30 appointment around 1:20 where the Manager informed me I could go straight back, shockingly. I literally have never had that happen, in all my years of having my hair done professionally. I was greeted my the same enthusiastic young lady who gave me a consultation the day before. She informed me that she was going to do a deep condition,a hot oil treatment, trim, to begin the restoration process.

After the preface she got to work, obviously beginning with the deep conditioning. She engaged in light conversation and informed about every single product she would be using and its purpose. In between conditioning she also "massaged" the knots out of my hair so the combing process wouldn't be too abrasive. Afterwards she placed me under the dryer with a towel on my head. She explained that because my hair is mostly curly, it loses moisture easily, and the towel would retain the nutrients of the oik treatment she based in my scalp. Noticing it would be difficult to cut my hair in its natural state, she decided it would have to be lightly blown, to give its past due trim. Before she began to apply the light heat, she combed my hair from the ends, then to the scalp. Astonishingly only 2 strokes were needed to sufficiently smoothly move my hands through my hair. (SUITE!!)

To her surprise, my hair was significantly longer on one side, than the other. Thankfully she gave me an option to slowly trim it into a consistent length or let it all go now, I opted for the latter. Like I said to her, its a psychological attachment. Anywho, after she straightened, she proceeded to knot it, neatly, and sat me under the dryer, and I took the responsibility of taking the knots out. It was a little more difficult than I thought, and I didn't get the knots loose when I first took them out, but I was happy with the results.

----BEFORE!!




Pre Shaken After!! (Discard the part lol)

Overall the experience was enjoyable,affordable, and I am excited about going back. If your ever in Columbus please check her out!!




Thanks Paris!

LAND HO!!!

It's only appropriate we disappear for the Winter and reemerge for the Spring Season!! So I'm home in the C.O for Spring Break and my Mom hooked me up with a Natural hair care specialist for a consultation. I walked into Salon One awaiting the typical "oh I can't do nothin with that ... " response and I was taken aback. Not only did the young lady tell me my hair was beautiful, but she also informed me that she look forward in aiding me in my journey to take my hair wherever I want it to go. I set up an appointment for tommorow, and I left with a Koolaid grin.

Now you're probably wondering why I'm so delighted, especially when I have no clue about what this chick is about to do to my hair. Nonetheless, I am excited that someone didn't dismiss my complicated ends as they usually do. I know, that's minimal, probably insignificant ... but it meant a lot to me. So I'll make sure to keep you all updated. YUP!!

This is how I looked!!


First.Lady

Support Black Businesses

Whats good fam,
I've had a turbulent week but I won't let it stop me from
puttin on for my aTYPICAL family. The highly anticipated
botique O.T.R will be celebrating its opening this evening
and we'd love you to come be apart of it. If you could join
us this evening at 1307 Main St. Cincinnati,OH 45202, we'd love
to have you. Again, have a drink with us (from 7-10pm), and buy some stuff lol

...Seriously tho.

Original Thought Required (OTR)
1307 Main Street (Over the Rhine)
Cincinnati, Ohio 45202
M-Sat 12-7
Sun 2-6
Website: www.OTRfresh.com
email: info@OTRfresh.com
twitter: www.twitter.com/OTRfresh

First Lady 4.11

Back 2 [their] Reality

Last Tuesday while at wing night, an older Black gentlemen politely interrupted my roommate and I and said "I'm sorry I just wanted to let you know, your hair is very pretty". Shocked, I responded with a thank you very much, you're like the 5th brotha to tell me this in 5 months! He sort of chuckled, and continued to wait for his food in silence, and I finished my dinner quite tickled.

Fast forward to Saturday, I had a funeral to attend in the early afternoon, and a Christmas party to host during the evening. Curious about the growth of my hair, and in need of trimmed ends, I had Ms. Gold flat iron it before the services. The response I received was quite interesting, most were astonished with the arguable longer length, but most were just happy to see my hair straight. From Saturday morning on, I have noticed a warmer reception to my hair, and I don't know if its because people agree with the texture, or the length. I feel some way about this, especially since a couple of my 5th grade students told me I looked "crazy" with my afro. Am I reading too much into this? I don't even know anymore!


P.S
My friend decided to take a picture via Iphone of the long awaited flat ironed results in case you're interested!

Merry Christmas!

First Lady 4.11

The Return ...

Ladies and Gentlemen,

I apologize for my absence, college is truly time consuming. No-Lye is not dead though, we just need your patience. After cruising the Natural hair care blogs, I just had to get this out to the masses.

Thanks to I have learned about a North Carolina theme park which does not allow its employees to have locs. The language is explicit in its distaste for the style, and can be seen in the photo below:



How do you feel about this? Is it discriminatory? Let me know what's really good.

P.S Happy Black Friday

1st Lady

Uploaded by www.cellspin.net

Today I was partied to a discussion regarding women and whether or not they dress for the admiration of men, the acceptance or envy of other women or themselves...the consensus was pretty much evenly distributed in most areas meaning that most women when asked picked one of these answers as their motivation to look good. I was deeply disturbed at the amount of women who said they dress solely based upon the opinions of others. This natural process has taught me that everyone is a critic, ourselves being the worst. It is easier and in my opinion healthier mentally to develop a close intimate relationship with oneself, IE learn your likes and dislikes...make yourself smile...see your own beauty, I mean really see your own beauty, treat yourself, spoil yourself, love on yourself, commit to changing the things you don't like about your self....it is only after these things have been done that we can truly enjoy and contribute unselfishly to a relationship with someone else.

You Sho Is Ugly

Well well well. In previous entries I have been critical about my brothas perception of good hair. Why? See on Friday I was told by an old friend who happens to be a black man to get a relaxer. Also the previous Sunday I was asked when I was gonna straighten it or "Do something else" with my mane. These are just a few examples of the straight up rude comments that have come from men, men I know specifically about the quality of my hair.

Well Saturday, I finally got a compliment from a brotha I didn't know. Well it wasn't like a compliment per say, maybe just a solicitation? As I waited outside my car for my take out order to finish, two young men walked past and said used juvenile methods to gain my attention. Although I didn't reciprocate interest, I took notice that it was the 1st time in a WHILE someone on the street tried to holla!

Although I am reading into something so random, and potentially and irrelevant, I can say that what is usually annoyance, was actually appreciated. I have had to not take my brothas comments to heart as it relates to my hair, because it honestly hurts to hear the way they percieve it. So to the 2 boys that was tryna get on, THANK YOU. You made me feel like all black men didn't find my hair repulsive, (even if that wasn't your intention.


First Lady

OVERRATED

It's been a minute since the last entry and I apologize for that. So to make up for it, I've got a gang of hatin, oops I mean critiquing to do.

So back in July when my hair was getting its arse kicked by the humidity I decided to embrace my kinkiness. In doing so I accepted product suggestions and Carols Daughter seemed to arise various times so I did my research and then made a business decision, which essentially became an expensive endeavor.
See, I'm cheap. I like to think its because I consider myself impoverished but the fact of the matter is I'm just bogus. So best believe when I found myself out the cash register droppin 21$ on 8oz of hair product, I was thinkin this product pull some Jesus miracles and fall just short of turnin water into wine.At least let it give my mane a little bit of luster. Man did Carol fail me miserably.

First I attempted to utilize the hair butter and after having mixed results from the Kizzy pommade, I put the CD on the shelf. But, thanks to my mentor Dr. Natural I got to complete my experiment with this heavily praised product when she lent me her Hair Milk and leave in conditioner. I just knew I was about to get my Jada Pinkett-Smith on!

After washing, buttering, and milking, the moment of the truth arrived. SADLY,
the only aesthetic difference was the noticeable fragrance of my hair, and that got old quickly.

Overall, ladies it could be my hair type but the Carol's Daughter I used thus far was less than mediocre.

Using the No-Lye Product Rating scale I'd like to give the Caroll's Daughter Hair Milk, Hair Butter, and Leave in Conditioner the following:

2 Wide Toof Combs = I'd only cop it if it was free. CD isn't the worse, but considering its price and praise, its far from the best.


Price: Hair Milk 4oz $12 Healthy Hair Butter 4oz 10.50 Kizzi Stay Put Pomade 9.50
Location: Sephora/ Online


If your opinions differ, let me know, cuz my soul and my 5/3rd card are still disappointed thanks to Carol's fam.

On to the next one!

First Lady

Tyra Banks: Good Intentions, Poor Execution ?

This week quite a few events took place that were considered Newsworthy. Obama laid the proverbial Smackdown on Congress, Joe "You Lie" Wilson fueled the Right Wing Extremist fire, The 8th Anniversary of the Sept. 11th attacks just passed, and Tyra Banks showed her real hair. No you did not misread the previous statement, Tyra Banks, retired Supermodel/business woman/ talk show host showed her REAL hair on colored T.V.

Why is this newsworthy? Ummm I didn't think it was, until I logged onto Yahoo! and saw it front a center as if it would change lives throughout the world. Naturally I was curious, so I watched the video accompanied with the headlines and my initial bewilderness transitioned to discomfort as I watched Tyra subject herself to petting for her audience.


Now I know Tyra is all sorts of extra, and suffers from attention whoredom nonetheless I couldn't help reacting to this debacle in such an apprehensive manner. Is a Black woman's hair growth just that d*mn fascinating?! I know that stereotypically we are not known for length, or the softest textures but the fashion but watching the audience reactions made black hair truly seem foreign. I am unsure of how to guage this curiousity/interest so I'll let you all do it.

Was Tyra's "big reveal" a progressive step for Black women and their manes?

First Lady

Yesssssssssss... Yesssss.... YESSSSSSSSSSSS

Sooo I almost had an Herbal Essence moment last week compliments of CANTU.
As I opened my $3.42 Cantu Shampoo and proceeded to squeeze it in my hand, I was expecting it to be a disappointment like most promising Black hair care products. Thank God my pessimism did not manifest itself because I promise you that I was immediately hypnotized by the amount of lather conjured up by a half dollar worth of Shampoo! I spent a good 10 minutes amazed at the fact that my hair was felt soft while I, YES ME, tended to its own cleansing.
The icing on the cake was the conditioner, it left my hair manageable and with a subtle shine, something I can rarely attest to. Not only did I love the feeling, I wanted to give the world permission to smell my new found glory after basking in the lovely scent that was also a consequence of its use. Overall, if you cannot tell, I have officially endorsed Cantu Shampoo and Conditioner. It was the best $6.64 I have ever spent in Wallys World!

With this stated I will introduce the official No Lye Review Scale:
4 wide toof combs = I bought momma some too
3 Wide toof combs = Cop it when its on sale
2 Wide Combs = Only if its free
1 wide toof combs = I returned it and only to get store credit.

I officially give Cantu Shampoo and Rinse Out Conditioner 4 Pig Tails: I'd buy my momma some... If I had the money to!

Purchase Location: Super Walmart
Price: $3.42 each


I ain't tryna waste $ I need so SEND ME YOUR REVIEWS!
First Lady

Boos Vs. The Bees: Round 1 !!

Wake up, wake up, wake up, its tha first of the month!! Predictable?
Anywho,Happy Tuesday!

My weekend was an interesting one to say the least. Friday Ms Gold & I attend a going away gathering, a mutual friend was headed to China for a couple of months and wanted to send our blessings with her. While there we had discussions about various things of unimportance from Real Chance @ Love to T.O's ego however, a hair conversation resulted from miscellaneous references to us natural chicks in attendance.
In the midst of this exchange there seemed to be an immediate divide in the exchange, of course the relaxed women felt the need to defend themselves and this intrigued me. Do you think the presence of non relaxed hair automatically signals to women who choose alternate routes of hair care that they cannot be accepted?

The conversation wasn't intense at all because we were all friends and we truly could care less about what your relationship with yo scalp may be. However, I imagine had we all been strangers the discussion would have deviated from personal choice to political significance. Where the relaxed sistas at, I know you have an opinion, do we possess an unwelcoming aura to our counterparts?

This is not a new issue though, lord knows we've had our issues about self segregation since the indoctrination that took place during slavery. Please see Spike Lee's portrayal of this never ending issue that inspired the title:


What's really going on?!
FirstLady

au naturel

As I embrace natural, I embrace me.
Unabridged, untamed, unlearned;

I am naked.
With every kink and curl I embrace myself as God intended.
I am learning to appreciate my authenticity.
Shedding the threads of society, I become robed in self-respect, love and the realest confidence ever known.
Every day I learn myself.
I greet my fears, shake hands with my insecurities and tell them: we cannot be friends.

No Lye's New Look

Today my mentor told me we got beef on the blog scene, so let's just make it interesting! Let me know what yall think of the makeover.

Shout out to Myspace Background Maker. Get myspace layouts, graphics, and flash toys at pYzam.


FirstLady

Slowly Taking its COARSE ... Entry I

I've discovered a quite a few things about having VISIBLY natural hair over the last 2-3 weeks. One thing is I am admittedly self conscious about whether or not my hair is "intimidating" to unsuspecting onlookers. I also have a hypothesis that non black men are arguably more attracted (or possibly enthralled) with my hair, than my fellow brothas. But the most intriguing part about having visibly natural hair within the last 2-3 weeks is, many people think it is an invitation to touch me.
Perhaps its my stature, after all I only stand at a mere 4 feet and 11 inches. Regardless, my hair has been patted or fingered more in the last weeks than I could encounter my entire life. Now most of the "petting" has come from friends and curious family members but this Saturday, I became annoyed as a STRANGER felt like she had the right to touch my hair.
The scene was a cookout, I had my back turned to grab a drink out of a cooler, and as I proceeded to pour my drink, I felt someone grope my hair. I turned around to see a chick I had just literally met 45 minutes ago with a Koolaid grin respond to my blank stare with an " I JUST LOVE YOUR HAIR!". I counted to ten and discarded it as a poor exercise in judgment for this young lady but in hindsight I asked myself a few new questions. Would I be equally annoyed if a guy would have touched my hair without my permission? Did I take offense because I felt like a Tuskeegee experiment for non-blacks curious about kinky hair? Or should I simply get accustomed to the intrigue and allow people to gain a better understanding of this phenomena by partaking in a harmless session of "petting"?

I have yet to come to any conclusions, but the day to day experience of living "naturally" is as difficult as staying away from chemical straighteners. They both require extreme patience, and result in the education of self, as well as the people you encounter.

1stLady

Dark N Lovely...

Just washed and left the condition in... what yall think??!

1st Lady